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What to wear in the high temperature if you’re a man

Within the unrelenting glare in the oppressive sun it’s hard to outfit well, and yet costume well you must because the streets and theme parks are overflowing with bronzed, stylish, beautiful individuals who only come out at the moment of the year. Whether you’re simmering at work or melting down on the beach, here’s how to look cool inside hot weather.
What to wear to function

Balenciaga open shirt – perfect for the office. Photograph: Public realtions

George Osborne, you’ll have noticed, is always wearing a tie up, even in those outdated photographs of him dancing to Spandau Danse, but, for the rest of people, summer dress requires a more casual approach. Throw away your match jacket, take off your link, undo your best button and the links below that – since far down when you dare. Your style inspirations must be Steve Coogan, especially, and Rob Brydon in The Visit to Italy: wide-open shirt hidden into smart chinos, together with matching desert footwear and perhaps a panama hat for the wander home.

DO use underwear, however warm it is, because just about all hell could bust loose if you by accident forget to squat up your fly in the office.
DON’T neglect to deodorise, as a tired shirt makes you appear to be an embarrassed MP.
NEVER walk throughout the office barefoot, it’s revolting and completely undesirable.

What to wear on holiday:

Chile’s ahead Alexis Sanchez in his uniquely fabricated lad hotpant. Photograph: Juan Mabromata/AFP/Getty Images

The other day a couple of Californian ladies were complaining concerning British men’s poor choice of shorts, which agitated and embarrassed us all no end. You’ve all got word of the Trouser Index, but what of the Short Ratio At the seaside it’s best to wear small shorts – brightly colored, very short pants. Try tucking and moving them in about themselves, thus creating a snazzy lad hotpant of the sort Arsenal’s latest superstar Alexis Sanchez likes to flaunt on the football toss. If you’re hard-bodied and courageous, why not risk a good asymmetric Sirius Schlong Thong as immortalised simply by Bobby and Harry TOWIE inside Marbella.

Nike knitted trainers. Picture: PR

And for sneakers, these knitted Nike sneakers are ideal. You can walk right into and out of the ocean, Evelyn Waugh style, in them after which marvel as the the sun bakes them dried out in minutes.

Aron Williams and his deep-V-neck T-shirt. Photo: PR

DO don very dark sun glasses so no- ne can see where you’re looking.
DON’T risk a deep-V-neck T-shirt.
NEVER wear your sunglasses into the sea, you’ll lose them.

Style trends in the park:
In the park, by comparison, it’s most comfortable to game massive baggy shorts, ideally with nothing beneath so you’re at a single with nature and always ready to jump straight into an enticing river or even lake. White’s what you want truly, like glowing bright Uniqlo T-shirts – all that “air conditioning clothing” works, wrapping your body within a cool silky caress – as well as long white hosiery, perhaps worn having a trendy Adidas pool slip.

Bucket hat simply by Craig Green. Photo: Rex

DO risk a new bucket hat. They’re having a renaissance stone island navy polo shirt in part due to the catwalk (Craig Green sent models pertaining to his SS14 show around the catwalk in tie-dye variations) and partly as a result of Yung Lean and his young Swedish rap staff who, incidentally, like to wear small bathroom towels on their heads to keep chill in the sunshine. Either/or.
DON’T hide money or another type in your socks, since it looks cool nonetheless it soaks everything, and constantly be careful of your phone falling out of your shorts pockets.
NEVER tune in to anyone that tells you to not wear white hosiery.

What to wear at home:
Everybody in my flat has taken to walking around within their pants – it’s just too very hot for anything else and it feels nice way too. In a heatwave, it’s perfectly suitable to answer the door inside M&S briefs or very brief shorts. Another good summer season house look could be the bathrobe-and-smart-sneakers combo.

DO improve your pants a lot.
DON’T go out in your boxers, except if you’re Rihanna.
NEVER leave the house topless, even if you’re surviving in LA and you’re Simon Cowell.

A few things I like

AIRism T-shirt, £9.90, by Uniqlo
Chinos, £39.95, simply by Gap
Flyknit sneakers, £135, simply by Nike
Poplin shirt, £195, by Balenciaga
Schlong thong, £10, simply by Bobby Norris

stone island navy polo shirt